DOE jokes
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
Memes
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Why do orphans get in trouble at school?
Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.