DOE jokes
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
What does BLM stand for?
Biden loves millennials.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Pokémon
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
What does Michael Jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
