DOE jokes
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
What does NASA stand for?
Not Another Strong Astronaut.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.