DOE jokes
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
Why does this exist?