DOE jokes
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
So what does stress and energy mean?
Beer.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.