DOE jokes
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
Why does Tesco like midgets?
Every little helps.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.