Dish jokes
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
Memes
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
Q: What's the most popular dish in Africa?
A: The empty one!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
It's Caesar salad.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!