Dish jokes
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
Memes
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."