When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her)
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. A cow with no front legs walking around? Beef stroganoff.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
