Disability jokes

Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."

What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?

He always needs a hand.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

Why did Sally fall off of the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Not Sally.

What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?

A slow clap.

How do you piss off a disabled person?

You put the cookie on the other shoulder.

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

How did the retard win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.