Disability Jokes

Wheelchair

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."

Orphan

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

Trampoline

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Wheelchair

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

Susie

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

Stephen Hawking

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.

Kid

What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?

Special forces.

  • 2
  • Acne

    How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.

  • 6
  • Stephen Hawking

    The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

  • 8
  • Wheelchair

    To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

    Punishment

    What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?

    She rearranged all the furniture.

  • 6
  • Stephen Hawking

    What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

  • 3
  • Charity

    I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

  • 4