Disability jokes
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
What did Stephen Hawking's mum say to him when he asked for £10?
"You can take a run and jump!"
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite music?
Rock and roll.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.
At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.