Disability jokes
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."