Disability jokes

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What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?

He always needs a hand.

Why did Sally fall off of the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Not Sally.

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

We don't read backwards.

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?

Steamed veggies!

So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.

What did the Asian people name their retarded son?

Sum Ting Wong.

How do you shut Helen Keller up?

You give her mittens.

What do you call an army of disabled people?

Special forces.

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

Meals on wheels.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.