Disability jokes

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

He's not dead, his batteries have run out.

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?

Artistic.

What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

Stephen Hawking's coffin.

What do you call all down syndromes?

Twins.

What is a blind person's favorite color?

Black.

A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.

What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

Why did Sally fall off of the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Not Sally.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.