Disability jokes
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.