Disability jokes
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
I'm stumped.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?