Disability jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
I told a blind kid, "See you later!"
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."