Disability jokes
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
I told a blind kid, "See you later!"
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"