Disability jokes

Arms

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

Steven Hawking

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

Feminist

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

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  • Disabled

    My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

    Sally

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because she had no arms.

    Knock, knock.

    Not Sally.

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  • Special

    When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.

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  • Down Syndrome

    I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

    Stephen Hawking

    Why did Stephen Hawking die?

    Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

    Wheelchair

    What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

    Orphan

    What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

    Blind

    How does a blind person wipe their ass?

    With braille toilet paper.

    Blind

    How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

    Special

    I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

    I'll call it Downtown.