Disability jokes
I'm the autism.
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.