Disability jokes
Michael J. Fox's wife doesn't need a vibrator; she has her husband.
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?
Through a special ballot.
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.
So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
Who is Tracy Latimer's least favourite Beauty and the Beast character?
GASton.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"
Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"
Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"
Grandma: "Exactly."
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.