Difference jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
What is the difference between white people and Africans? The white people watch "The Hunger Games," the Africans live it.
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.