Difference jokes
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.