Difference jokes
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.