Difference jokes
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
Hollow Knight Meme
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
I just wanted to say...
These disabled jokes are quite offensive. I'm not disabled in any way, but people reading might be affected in many ways. Yes, some of them are amusing, but there's a difference between having a joke and being plain rude.
Please take my feedback into account. Thanks!
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What's the difference between Black and White people?
Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.