Difference jokes

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

Answer: 16

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

What is the difference between a woman and a knife?

The knife has a point.

My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What do / and \ have in common?

They have different results.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

What's the difference between a human and a tree?

A human can chop down a tree.

A tree can't chop down a human.