Difference jokes

What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

Me and my brother talking about relationships.

Me: We live kind of differently.

Brother: We're sort of alike.

Me: We're not alike.

Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!

My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?

I don't worship Jesus.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.