Difference jokes
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.