Difference jokes

Your hairline is in a different area code.

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.

What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?

A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.