Difference jokes
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Memes
Don't tell me different methods of preparation are the same ever again.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.