Difference jokes

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?

Not too sure. I just fly the drone.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.

What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?

A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.