Difference jokes

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.

What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.

What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?

A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."

"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?

One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!

What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?

One didn't go in the closet.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.