Difference jokes

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?

I would smash the Twin Towers.

What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?

I pull out of the driveway.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.

What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.

What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.

What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?

It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?

Because they're good at separating colors.

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?

You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.