Difference jokes

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

In the U.K., it's a swear word.

In America, it's a family reunion.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

What’s the difference between air and a six year old?

Air has resistance.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?

A hambone.

A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.