Difference jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.

How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?

A hambone.

What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.