Difference jokes
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?
About 3 inches.
P.S. Please comment and like!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.