Difference jokes
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?
My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.