Difference jokes

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

Why are dogs different than orphans?

Because dogs don't cry for their parents.

What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?

Clash Royale still has a tower.

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!

What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?

Nothing, they're both receding.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?

My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?

I don’t like the taste of broccoli.