Difference jokes
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.