Die jokes
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.