Die jokes

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.