Die jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
What did the two towers make after they died? The One World Trade Center.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.