Die Jokes

man drinks beer jumps off a tower and he's okay the other guy says Whoa how'd you do that.he does it again so the guy gets a beer the same beer and jumps off he died.the bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says Superman you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk

rape victim: i want to die

man: hang in there

rape victim: thats what ill do, ill hang myself

Why did hitler die? he got hit by ler

my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar

I was eating this girl out the other night and I tasted horse semen so I said to her "oh that's how you died grandma."

my uncle died in 9/11 he was in the plane that crashed in the feild

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died

Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not!! He got nailed before he died.

Most of the people here: thats not funny lots of people died.

Bruh why are you in here if you cant take joke.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty and now they have a daughter

Secret Jill didn’t go in the shit yet jack went in first and died :D

Why Demons are dying from Priestwater?The Soul from a Priest is completly diffrent

Nessie is dying

My grandpa died in 911 ,he was a great pilot

What did Hitler said to Stan after he died. I did nazi that coming

so i guess cube was right eazy dick smelling like mc ren shit and eazy died of aids

my friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over

Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.