Die jokes
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
you.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
I wish you guys all died.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
My life.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.