Die

Die jokes

Scientist

  • Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

    Plum

  • I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

    I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

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  • Sex

  • Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

    Woman: No, really?

    Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

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  • Humpty Dumpty

  • Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.

    He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.

    When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.

    It happened too fast, he watched the very last.

    Next he died, eaten all fried.