Didnt jokes

When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Why didn't the orphan go home?

Because he didn't have a home.

Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?

Because he didn't want to get ripped.

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?

One didn't go in the closet.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?"

"It didn't have the guts!"

At the drive-thru window:

"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"

"We don't serve soup here!"

"Well, I didn't order any!"

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

A guard at a baseball stadium let in the pheasant, the chicken, and the duck. But he didn't let in the turkey. Why? Because four strikes and you are out!

I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.

They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.

I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.