Dick jokes
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What do gay horses eat?
Horse dick.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Life is like a penis. It is short.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Yo mama so poop and peepee and sucks on dick.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.