I started a new job. My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick".
She said "how do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied "you just ask nicely
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex...
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him.
why is my sister horny its bc she loves my dick
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and
Rights
After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman? My dick!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her sonβs dick.
Riddle me this batman, Whats long round and has cum in the middle Batman: A dick Riddler: NO NO NOOOO iT'S A cuCUMber
Does that dick match that forehead?π
Yes, sir
Four big guys and they grab on my thighs Blow up my guts like the 4th of July If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes
He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin' Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin' He said yeah I'm not leavin'
I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin' Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven Hawkin f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'
Bitch, hop on the dick do a split Shout out Lil Baby My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' On him if he don't have tits I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz
There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs They blow my guts like the 4th of July If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes
Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh) But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden
Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets And I'm beatin' on my meat
Bitch We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs And they gon' bust on my eyes
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, That some dick cut her off.
there are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's
A man's daughter comes home from school and asked her dad if she can borrow the car. The father replies, no its too late at night. The daughter says cmon dad. I'll do anything. The dad says OK suck my dick. The daughter says no that's disgusting. The dad says you want the car. You said you'll do anything. The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth. She stops and says eww dad your dick smells like shit. The dad replies yeah well your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago.
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual? Because physically challenged gay men do it best π π ππ π π πͺ πͺ π₯° π π π π π π β€οΈ π β£οΈ π π
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? Women can't take a joke!
America: Saying, β I beg your pardonβ in British English is like saying; β What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?β
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh Im SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts π
Why did Kenny die Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
So this is how I got divorced. On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum and my 2 kids 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
