Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Dick Jokes
Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
Balls are balls, aka dicks.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.
Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
