Development jokes
Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Googoogaga.
Travis has baby hands.
What do 9-year-old girls want? To be ate again!