Desire jokes
Me so horny! Me so horny!
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
Life's too short to want it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
I'm hungry.
Good night, boys.
I like goodies.
F*ck me!