Desire jokes
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
Explain Bear, I want to kiss you.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.
Oh wait, I am.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."