Desire jokes
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
Explain Bear, I want to kiss you.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.
Oh wait, I am.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!