Depression jokes

I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?

Pour bleach on it.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

What’s the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn’t beat cancer.

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

What is an emo kid's favorite song?

"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

What do emo kids have in common with orphans?

They both depress'd on the inside.

To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.

What do depression and suicide have in common?

Nothing, they're both hanging.

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

Real Pokémon.

Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.