1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
I laughed at my life so hard.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
