Depression jokes
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"