Depression jokes
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
Do not roast. *sigh in depression*
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.