Depression jokes

Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.

Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)

Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.

I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍

Suicide is never the answer.

Suicide is the question.

The answer is yes.

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.