Death jokes
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Damn.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."