Death jokes
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?