What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Death Jokes
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
