u know wat should give up an stay day


Why couldn’t the T-rex clap his hands?

Because he’s dead

everyone when we’re in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: Happy birthday to you…, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear____, happy birthday to u Me in the background: Happy deathday to you…, Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!..

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because was I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex ad gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

What’s about 12 inches long has a purple head and can make woman scream all night?

Cot death

Steven Hawkings had a heart attack the year before his death.

They took him to pc world for repairs.

Stephen hawkings death was completely accidental…

He pressed shut down instead of sleep

Stephen hawking death was because he lost WiFi connection

Why do they have fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

What’s the difference between Issac Newton and my Dad? Issac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench

Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”

“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”

The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”

“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

I have a joke about death. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Think about it :)

Why did steward die in the toilet?He saw his Undercut in the mirror

What’s the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren’t at a UFC event, you’re watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

This joke is so dark I need life

If I worked for Edexcel, I’d give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.

Robin asks Batman what are you getting your parents for Christmas Batman gets mad slaps Robin and runs off crying

now you know why Batman beyond was born when Bruce died cause of death: suicide

A man ask to play kick the bucket ( not death). The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt.Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other ones foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff which brings the man with it. LOL

                                        THE END