Death jokes
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
Your Nan is dead.
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
I killed my cat.
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*