Death jokes
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Where do terrorists go when they die?
Answer: Everywhere.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.