Death jokes
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
What would you do if you were killed?
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
I guess the queen ran out of totems of undying.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
I killed my cat.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.