What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Do you have dark humor?
Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying..... but I decided to abort.
whats the difference between life and death......life hurts
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?" Doctor: "To the morgue." Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor." Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave or does your mortician take it from you?
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
When I die can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park .
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?
Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Murder is the same as suicide except the other person is doing it for you
