A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide? We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
Whats yellow and can't swim A dead goldfish
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person? An Indian person is burnt after death
A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
