Death jokes
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
A happy family.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"