Death jokes

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.

I guess people are dying to get in.

The orphanage said I couldn't go home.

Your dad is gone.

I have a riddle for you:

10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.

Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”

Once he eats it, he starts crying.

Why?

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.

I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...

Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?

Forever 21.

My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.