Death jokes
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
Where did the orphan go after the orphanage blew up everywhere?
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.