Death jokes
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
You are so ugly my man died.
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.