Death jokes
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
Slit your wrists.
Why didn’t the orphan celebrate their birthday?
Because they didn’t have a mom to birth them.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
This is crazy! Little Johnny died!
Why is Lani Jesus? Go die.
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead, DUHHHHHHHHHHH!