Death jokes
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.