Death jokes
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
You are so ugly my man died.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
Orphans don’t have parents, lol.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!