Death jokes
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
Bullets.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.