Death jokes
I'm gonna cut my life off.
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
(l=====8
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."