Death jokes
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
(l=====8
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Best way of abortion?
Beyblade abortion.
LET IT R.I.P.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
I'm gonna cut my life off.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.