Death

Death jokes

Guy

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

Mum

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

Hooker

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

Mum

Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.

Baby

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

Train

Man: Die, potato!

Potato: *screams*

I like trains.

Kid: I like trains.

Man: No, wait!

Train: *kills man*

Kid

Kid goes to the kitchen.

Mom: What are you doing here?

Kid: Just checking out the knife.

Mom: So you've chosen death.

Lambo

What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.

Crush

Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?

Because he had a crush on her.

Man

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

Difference

What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?

One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.