Death jokes
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
I killed myself, then woke up.