Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Death Jokes
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."
The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!
Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"
The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.
Man: "Dolly!"
