Death jokes
What's George Floyd's favorite color? Kneeon.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
👌neck
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
Kill yourself, hoes!
Please don't kill [me].
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.