Death jokes
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।
Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.